Dear Social Contacts,
Our time here in Africa has sadly found an end. We have been witnesses of landscapes, wildlife and people we have never dreamed of, tasted foods we had never heard of and learnt things we never knew of. Or Emotions are running wild looking forward to home, and in my case, saying goodbye to home. We have been welcomed to so many wonderful homes, have been part of so many wonderful families and have had a part in so many wonderful experiences. We are extremely glad that we have had the support and help of our hosts, many crises would not have been managed as will without them.
Our journeys roamed wild, from the most famous surf in the world to the most southern point of Africa, from the City bowl up to the most scary shopping trip of our lives, from horrifying border passes (that turned out to be quite a party) to road blocks and drives licence controls that have let our hearts sink to our feet. We have slept to the sounds of Hyenas, partied to the sounds of life, found out much more of our selves than we ever wanted to, and have come a little closer to finding out who we are.
There are parts of South Africa we have not seen, many of these parts we do not want to see. The poverty and hardship that rules many parts of this country is heart breaking and the situation many have to live in, ( and these are not only family’s in townships and worse) is mind retching. We are extremely privileged to have had such wonderful experiences and are truly grateful that we have had a chance to get an insight into the good and the bad. This will and has helped us appreciate what we have back home.
One the things we have enjoyed and will miss most is the attitude of the people here. The majority of people, it does not matter how little they possess, will welcome you into their home and bend over backwards to be of help. We have been invited to stay with people we only met for a few hours and have been help by people that would have been in much bigger need of our help. If someone does not understand your language, he will draw, point, imitate and signal what he’s trying to tell you, if someone cannot answer your question, he will drag you through the whole town if need be to find someone who can. There is no need to be self-conscious here. People will hardly care if you are wearing shoes, have brushed your hair or have forgotten to take of your make up the day before. I have not once had one of those “look you up and down” looks when I have walked into a shop barefoot, exhausted and a crinkle faced. Highly made up ladies with perfume that you can smell from here to next Christmas will give a little shriek of surprise and suddenly be all over you with “oh dear, honey, would you like some tea? Oh of course you’re lost, stupid road works, let me get you a map, oh you know what, keep it, in case you get lost again.” Of course, maybe we are just stupid Tourist that idolizes the grass on the other side of the fence, but living here has shown what “happy’ can mean. Not “happy with your job” or “happy with the government” or “happy with the situation”, but just “happy”.
There are many more words to explain what we have experienced, but they shall be kept for future conversations.
Nevertheless, there have been a few things worth mentioning. For those who do not know what the “Big 5” are, Wikipedia is your best friend: “The phrase Big Five game was coined by white hunters and refers to the five most difficult animals in Africa to hunt on foot.[1] The term is still used in most tourist and wildlife guides that discuss African wildlife safaris. The collection consists of the lion, African elephant, Cape buffalo, leopard, and rhinoceros.[2] The members of the Big Five were chosen for the difficulty in hunting them and the degree of danger involved, rather than their size.[1][3] “
We have here put together the Backpackers Big 5, which are not quite the most difficult creatures to hunt, but most definitely the most dangerous for the backpacker, and, occasionally, the most frustrating.
The path
The Path is a creature that is very hard to find, often you won’t see it even if you or standing right on top of it. Paths are known to have been located all over the world, in some places it is a very common inhabitant, in others a very rare one indeed. Throughout the Backpackers adventures, he is constantly on the lookout for Paths. If a Path is located, the Backpacker must do his upmost best to keep his eyes on this Path, for if he looks away, even for just a split second, the Path will most likely wind its way silently and quickly into the nearby undergrowth, or cover its self with the nearby dirt and disappear from the Backpackers view completely. This is very dangerous for the Backpacker, for a danger of losing a Path is that, without a Path to frighten it away, the Backpacker might run into a Bundu. (see below). But there is a greater fear in the Backpackers life: the motion of following a Path is known under the term of going “somewhere”. If the Backpacker loses a Path, is will be called going “anywhere”. “Anywhere” is a very dangerous place for the Backpacker, because it will lure up the illusion that you are going “somewhere”, but, eventually even the most experienced Backpacker will notice that the illusion of “somewhere” has indeed turned into “nowhere”. The Backpacker shall always avoid going “nowhere”, for this is a place that has a certain magnetic field around it that disorientates the Backpacker and he might well start walking in a circle or having illusions of recognizing certain milestones he finds along his aimless wondering. This will cause a state of panic within the Backpacker, which realised a chemical mixture of cold sweat and carbon dioxide, which frightens nearby Paths away.
You understand, the Backpacker shall never, ever be found going “nowhere”. To any extent! Even going “anywhere” is better than going “nowhere”. Often Paths will be found “anywhere” and that will lead back into the motion of going “somewhere”.
The Bundu
As mentioned above, the Bundu will often be found if there is no Path present. The Bundu is a creature whose disguise runs wide. He can be sees as a fallen log, a pile of lose rocks, a thicket of bushes, a tiny little branch and many more. A Bundu is a very dangerous creature, for his appearance is often not hostile at all, and the Backpacker will be led into believing there is no danger ahead, when trying to pass a Bundu. Big mistake. As soon as the Bundu smells the backpackers passing, it wills suddenly capture the Backpacker. The most common form of attack comes from the Bundu disguised as a little tree, branch or bush. Before the Backpacker knows what has hit him, the Bundu will lash out with hundreds of thousands of little sharp teeth, engraving them into the skin and hair of the Backpacker, ripping and slashing their way through the flesh. The Bundu has a great hunger for human flesh and especially human eyeballs. Many a Backpacker has tried to domesticate the Bundu, talking calmly and coaxing it with soft words of “now now, bad Bundu, let go, now let go, please” and meanwhile trying to carefully unhook each little tooth and claw one by one. There is no record of this attempt to ever have been successful. In most cases, the more the Backpacker tries to free himself, the more entangled he will get, and the once so calm and soft worlds will turn into expressions such as “fuck fuck fuck fuck LET GO!!! OUCH, fuck DAMN IT BLICKSEM DONER” which are heard kilometres away. The only successful method is to close your eyes and pull past the Bundu has fast as possible. The motion of fighting a Bundu is called “Bundu bashing”. The Backpacker experienced a lot of these battles on a certain farm in Zimbabwe.
The Fuck off Fly
As the name suggests, the Fuck off Fly is a Fly. This particular Fly has the frustrating habit of flying around and around the Backpacker constantly looking for a place to land. The Backpacker can try and shoo the Fly away as often as he likes, it will have no effect. Eventually the Backpackers patience with the Fly will cease, and he will go over into more harsh methods of getting rid of the irritating Insect. At first he will try to kill the Fly by hitting it, and then lose his temper and start shouting and cursing at it, not knowing that this is exactly what the Fly wants. The more “fuck offs” the Fly gets to feed on, the more it will go into a state of ecstasy, flying faster and faster, driving the uninformed Backpacker into madness, running around in a circle, slapping himself and yelling “fuck off, fuck off”.
The hole
The hole is yet another, peaceful seeming creature the Backpacker will encounter on his journeys. As with many other creatures, there are many types of holes. We will concentrate on four particular holes.
The common hole.
The common hole is often to be found set in grass lands, such as a garden or even a wide stretch of bush land, or in wetlands, such as swamps or even beaches. The common hole disguises itself with enough grass or mud that the Backpacker only knows he has found one once he disappears into it. Luckily, the common hole is not much bigger than a human’s fist, and it will swallow only the Backpackers foot and maybe part of his lower leg. The common hole has no teeth or claws, but the danger is that once it has swallowed part of the Backpacker, it will form a sort of vacuum around its victim, making escape seem impossible. If the Backpacker is lucky, he will not be traveling alone, and his companions can help pull him out of the hole. If the Backpacker is not lucky, he will be alone, and face the exhausting task of having to climb/pull himself out of the hole alone. Sometimes there will still be another victim in the hole that has not been digested yet, such as a spider, a frog or a snake. The backpacker will feel a wiggling sensation against his foot, maybe even a nibble or two. This will often speed up the Backpackers proses of escape. It has been seen that Backpackers can fly three meters up into the air, when he feels something more is in the hole.
The Porcupine hole.
The Porcupine hole is similar to the common hole, but just much much larger. Also, when the Backpacker spots a porcupine hole, what he will actually be seeing is only the nose holes of the entire hole. The mouth of the hole will be lying underground, covered by enough earth and grass to be invisible. Once the Backpacker steps onto this covering, it will suddenly give in, swallowing the entire Backpacker, plus his donkey. Or car, if he is travelling with more modern inventions. It is quite an act to get out of a Porcupine hole.
The pot hole
The Pot hole is a creature that likes lying across roads. The size of a pothole can vary from a few centimetres to an entire meter, if not more. The pot hole will often be found on dirt roads, and even more often on the highways of South Africa. The Backpacker might be lucky to spot a pothole from far away and thus avoid it easily. But every so often, a pothole will be lying slap bang in the middle of a road, making escape impossible. The Backpackers traveling device will suddenly plunge forward and hit the hole but be spat out immediately, for potholes don’t like the taste of rubber tires. The potholes memory is not very good, so when the second set of tires drives over it, it will repeat this motion. If the Backpacker is not lucky, the pothole might try a nibble of the tire, leaving tiny little punctures that will flatten the tire eventually. The Backpackers mood will be a feast for the Fuck off Fly.
The Water Hole
The Water Hole is possible one of the most beautiful and one of the most dangerous Holes. They are scattered all over, come in all shapes and sizes and often lie peacefully under trees and in cool, shaded places. A Water Hole can have many appearances. Some are a slightly green colour and have a foul, mucky odour. Others are brown, and then again, the more beautiful type, are nearly clear and have a growth of plants on their backs, often you can find lilies amongst these plants. Water Holes also have eyes. As a rule, the bigger the Water Hole, the larger the amount of eyes. These eyes are always set as pairs of two or more, and are not constantly visible, but have more of a “pop up and sink back down” appearance. If the Backpackers watches a Water Hole for an amount of time, he will notice this strange phenomena. A pair of eyes will slowly appear on the back of the Water Hole, blink once or twice and glare at the Backpacker for a while.. Slowly more pairs of eyes will appear, all blinking a little confused and then finding a target to glare at.. Once glaring becomes too boring, the eyes will slowly slowly sink back into the back of the Water Hole. This is a fascinating thing to be a witness of. The Water Hole also seems to enjoy the company of wild life. It sees that the animals of the bush and the Water Hole life in a sort of symbiosis. The Water Hole will let the animals drink of his water supplies, and in return every once in a while, the Water Hole will feed on them, lashing out with little rows of hundreds of teeth, sinking them into one of the animals and swallowing it entirely. This explains why the Backpacker should never be foolish enough to trust the peaceful looking Water Hole and have a drink or try swimming in its deliciously cool looking surface.
The Tourist
Last but definitely least dangerous is the Tourist. The Backpacker will encounter many of these creatures when during his travels, for as much as the Backpacker will not particularly like the Tourist, the Tourist seems to be utterly and entirely attracted to the Backpacker. This is a phenomena that has yet to be explained or eliminated. The Tourist will appear in many types. We will concentrate on only two. First, we will look at the White Ankled Tourist. As the name suggests, this Tourist is recognizable on the white colouring of his ankles and lower legs. As a rule, this Tourist is a fairly peaceful creature. Unlike his close relative, the White Ankled Complainer. This particular Tourist has many strange traits, one of which is –unlike the other Tourist- to not be interested in WHY cars are stopping, but HOW the cars are stopping. He will pass by a herd of parked cars complaining without stop about “how completely brainless it is that everyone has to stop in the middle of the road.. How difficult can it be to leave a little path in between to let oncoming cars past? How ignorant of these people, they obviously have had no social training what so ever, what are they thinking, just look at them” Until a very snotty Backpacker (yep, that’s me) will hiss out “Shut UP you honk, there’s a freeking LION right on the side of the flipping road!!” Of course, this will have the Complainer slam on the brakes, screech to a stop (on the middle of the road) block everyone’s view and call out on the top of his voice to the passengers at the back “Beware beware, there’s a LION, get your cameras, look look, no, not the one with the long nose, this is the one with all the hair around its head.. Yes, the one that looks like a fluffy cat.. yes I know it does not have any hair, it’s a female.. yes, it still is a lion, even without all the hair..NO DON’T GET OUT OF THE CAR” and so on and so on
The next Tourist we will learn about is the Long Eyed Gawk. The Long Eyed Gawk will always travel in a herd and can be found close to a park ranger, a notice board, a tour bus, and a fast food restaurant. As the name once again explains, the most noticeable trait of the Long Eyed Gawk is his one long eye. This eye is a fascinating thing to watch, for it can be extended by a certain length and then again draw back into the scull of the Gawk. Another trait is that he Gawks.. at everything.. Whether it’s an empty water hole, a lone impala, a pride of lion, the end of the world.. he will Gawk..
Of course, the Long Eyed Gawk has a close relative, called the Photographer. The Photographer is a species that is truly admirable, for he has the patience to sit completely motionless for many hours, waiting for wildlife to pass by. The Backpacker likes the company of the Photographer, for he is quiet and unlike the Gawk, truly manages to capture memories with only his one long eye.
Until we meet again, which for some of us will possibly be quite soon,
Xx b&j
Our time here in Africa has sadly found an end. We have been witnesses of landscapes, wildlife and people we have never dreamed of, tasted foods we had never heard of and learnt things we never knew of. Or Emotions are running wild looking forward to home, and in my case, saying goodbye to home. We have been welcomed to so many wonderful homes, have been part of so many wonderful families and have had a part in so many wonderful experiences. We are extremely glad that we have had the support and help of our hosts, many crises would not have been managed as will without them.
Our journeys roamed wild, from the most famous surf in the world to the most southern point of Africa, from the City bowl up to the most scary shopping trip of our lives, from horrifying border passes (that turned out to be quite a party) to road blocks and drives licence controls that have let our hearts sink to our feet. We have slept to the sounds of Hyenas, partied to the sounds of life, found out much more of our selves than we ever wanted to, and have come a little closer to finding out who we are.
There are parts of South Africa we have not seen, many of these parts we do not want to see. The poverty and hardship that rules many parts of this country is heart breaking and the situation many have to live in, ( and these are not only family’s in townships and worse) is mind retching. We are extremely privileged to have had such wonderful experiences and are truly grateful that we have had a chance to get an insight into the good and the bad. This will and has helped us appreciate what we have back home.
One the things we have enjoyed and will miss most is the attitude of the people here. The majority of people, it does not matter how little they possess, will welcome you into their home and bend over backwards to be of help. We have been invited to stay with people we only met for a few hours and have been help by people that would have been in much bigger need of our help. If someone does not understand your language, he will draw, point, imitate and signal what he’s trying to tell you, if someone cannot answer your question, he will drag you through the whole town if need be to find someone who can. There is no need to be self-conscious here. People will hardly care if you are wearing shoes, have brushed your hair or have forgotten to take of your make up the day before. I have not once had one of those “look you up and down” looks when I have walked into a shop barefoot, exhausted and a crinkle faced. Highly made up ladies with perfume that you can smell from here to next Christmas will give a little shriek of surprise and suddenly be all over you with “oh dear, honey, would you like some tea? Oh of course you’re lost, stupid road works, let me get you a map, oh you know what, keep it, in case you get lost again.” Of course, maybe we are just stupid Tourist that idolizes the grass on the other side of the fence, but living here has shown what “happy’ can mean. Not “happy with your job” or “happy with the government” or “happy with the situation”, but just “happy”.
There are many more words to explain what we have experienced, but they shall be kept for future conversations.
Nevertheless, there have been a few things worth mentioning. For those who do not know what the “Big 5” are, Wikipedia is your best friend: “The phrase Big Five game was coined by white hunters and refers to the five most difficult animals in Africa to hunt on foot.[1] The term is still used in most tourist and wildlife guides that discuss African wildlife safaris. The collection consists of the lion, African elephant, Cape buffalo, leopard, and rhinoceros.[2] The members of the Big Five were chosen for the difficulty in hunting them and the degree of danger involved, rather than their size.[1][3] “
We have here put together the Backpackers Big 5, which are not quite the most difficult creatures to hunt, but most definitely the most dangerous for the backpacker, and, occasionally, the most frustrating.
The path
The Path is a creature that is very hard to find, often you won’t see it even if you or standing right on top of it. Paths are known to have been located all over the world, in some places it is a very common inhabitant, in others a very rare one indeed. Throughout the Backpackers adventures, he is constantly on the lookout for Paths. If a Path is located, the Backpacker must do his upmost best to keep his eyes on this Path, for if he looks away, even for just a split second, the Path will most likely wind its way silently and quickly into the nearby undergrowth, or cover its self with the nearby dirt and disappear from the Backpackers view completely. This is very dangerous for the Backpacker, for a danger of losing a Path is that, without a Path to frighten it away, the Backpacker might run into a Bundu. (see below). But there is a greater fear in the Backpackers life: the motion of following a Path is known under the term of going “somewhere”. If the Backpacker loses a Path, is will be called going “anywhere”. “Anywhere” is a very dangerous place for the Backpacker, because it will lure up the illusion that you are going “somewhere”, but, eventually even the most experienced Backpacker will notice that the illusion of “somewhere” has indeed turned into “nowhere”. The Backpacker shall always avoid going “nowhere”, for this is a place that has a certain magnetic field around it that disorientates the Backpacker and he might well start walking in a circle or having illusions of recognizing certain milestones he finds along his aimless wondering. This will cause a state of panic within the Backpacker, which realised a chemical mixture of cold sweat and carbon dioxide, which frightens nearby Paths away.
You understand, the Backpacker shall never, ever be found going “nowhere”. To any extent! Even going “anywhere” is better than going “nowhere”. Often Paths will be found “anywhere” and that will lead back into the motion of going “somewhere”.
The Bundu
As mentioned above, the Bundu will often be found if there is no Path present. The Bundu is a creature whose disguise runs wide. He can be sees as a fallen log, a pile of lose rocks, a thicket of bushes, a tiny little branch and many more. A Bundu is a very dangerous creature, for his appearance is often not hostile at all, and the Backpacker will be led into believing there is no danger ahead, when trying to pass a Bundu. Big mistake. As soon as the Bundu smells the backpackers passing, it wills suddenly capture the Backpacker. The most common form of attack comes from the Bundu disguised as a little tree, branch or bush. Before the Backpacker knows what has hit him, the Bundu will lash out with hundreds of thousands of little sharp teeth, engraving them into the skin and hair of the Backpacker, ripping and slashing their way through the flesh. The Bundu has a great hunger for human flesh and especially human eyeballs. Many a Backpacker has tried to domesticate the Bundu, talking calmly and coaxing it with soft words of “now now, bad Bundu, let go, now let go, please” and meanwhile trying to carefully unhook each little tooth and claw one by one. There is no record of this attempt to ever have been successful. In most cases, the more the Backpacker tries to free himself, the more entangled he will get, and the once so calm and soft worlds will turn into expressions such as “fuck fuck fuck fuck LET GO!!! OUCH, fuck DAMN IT BLICKSEM DONER” which are heard kilometres away. The only successful method is to close your eyes and pull past the Bundu has fast as possible. The motion of fighting a Bundu is called “Bundu bashing”. The Backpacker experienced a lot of these battles on a certain farm in Zimbabwe.
The Fuck off Fly
As the name suggests, the Fuck off Fly is a Fly. This particular Fly has the frustrating habit of flying around and around the Backpacker constantly looking for a place to land. The Backpacker can try and shoo the Fly away as often as he likes, it will have no effect. Eventually the Backpackers patience with the Fly will cease, and he will go over into more harsh methods of getting rid of the irritating Insect. At first he will try to kill the Fly by hitting it, and then lose his temper and start shouting and cursing at it, not knowing that this is exactly what the Fly wants. The more “fuck offs” the Fly gets to feed on, the more it will go into a state of ecstasy, flying faster and faster, driving the uninformed Backpacker into madness, running around in a circle, slapping himself and yelling “fuck off, fuck off”.
The hole
The hole is yet another, peaceful seeming creature the Backpacker will encounter on his journeys. As with many other creatures, there are many types of holes. We will concentrate on four particular holes.
The common hole.
The common hole is often to be found set in grass lands, such as a garden or even a wide stretch of bush land, or in wetlands, such as swamps or even beaches. The common hole disguises itself with enough grass or mud that the Backpacker only knows he has found one once he disappears into it. Luckily, the common hole is not much bigger than a human’s fist, and it will swallow only the Backpackers foot and maybe part of his lower leg. The common hole has no teeth or claws, but the danger is that once it has swallowed part of the Backpacker, it will form a sort of vacuum around its victim, making escape seem impossible. If the Backpacker is lucky, he will not be traveling alone, and his companions can help pull him out of the hole. If the Backpacker is not lucky, he will be alone, and face the exhausting task of having to climb/pull himself out of the hole alone. Sometimes there will still be another victim in the hole that has not been digested yet, such as a spider, a frog or a snake. The backpacker will feel a wiggling sensation against his foot, maybe even a nibble or two. This will often speed up the Backpackers proses of escape. It has been seen that Backpackers can fly three meters up into the air, when he feels something more is in the hole.
The Porcupine hole.
The Porcupine hole is similar to the common hole, but just much much larger. Also, when the Backpacker spots a porcupine hole, what he will actually be seeing is only the nose holes of the entire hole. The mouth of the hole will be lying underground, covered by enough earth and grass to be invisible. Once the Backpacker steps onto this covering, it will suddenly give in, swallowing the entire Backpacker, plus his donkey. Or car, if he is travelling with more modern inventions. It is quite an act to get out of a Porcupine hole.
The pot hole
The Pot hole is a creature that likes lying across roads. The size of a pothole can vary from a few centimetres to an entire meter, if not more. The pot hole will often be found on dirt roads, and even more often on the highways of South Africa. The Backpacker might be lucky to spot a pothole from far away and thus avoid it easily. But every so often, a pothole will be lying slap bang in the middle of a road, making escape impossible. The Backpackers traveling device will suddenly plunge forward and hit the hole but be spat out immediately, for potholes don’t like the taste of rubber tires. The potholes memory is not very good, so when the second set of tires drives over it, it will repeat this motion. If the Backpacker is not lucky, the pothole might try a nibble of the tire, leaving tiny little punctures that will flatten the tire eventually. The Backpackers mood will be a feast for the Fuck off Fly.
The Water Hole
The Water Hole is possible one of the most beautiful and one of the most dangerous Holes. They are scattered all over, come in all shapes and sizes and often lie peacefully under trees and in cool, shaded places. A Water Hole can have many appearances. Some are a slightly green colour and have a foul, mucky odour. Others are brown, and then again, the more beautiful type, are nearly clear and have a growth of plants on their backs, often you can find lilies amongst these plants. Water Holes also have eyes. As a rule, the bigger the Water Hole, the larger the amount of eyes. These eyes are always set as pairs of two or more, and are not constantly visible, but have more of a “pop up and sink back down” appearance. If the Backpackers watches a Water Hole for an amount of time, he will notice this strange phenomena. A pair of eyes will slowly appear on the back of the Water Hole, blink once or twice and glare at the Backpacker for a while.. Slowly more pairs of eyes will appear, all blinking a little confused and then finding a target to glare at.. Once glaring becomes too boring, the eyes will slowly slowly sink back into the back of the Water Hole. This is a fascinating thing to be a witness of. The Water Hole also seems to enjoy the company of wild life. It sees that the animals of the bush and the Water Hole life in a sort of symbiosis. The Water Hole will let the animals drink of his water supplies, and in return every once in a while, the Water Hole will feed on them, lashing out with little rows of hundreds of teeth, sinking them into one of the animals and swallowing it entirely. This explains why the Backpacker should never be foolish enough to trust the peaceful looking Water Hole and have a drink or try swimming in its deliciously cool looking surface.
The Tourist
Last but definitely least dangerous is the Tourist. The Backpacker will encounter many of these creatures when during his travels, for as much as the Backpacker will not particularly like the Tourist, the Tourist seems to be utterly and entirely attracted to the Backpacker. This is a phenomena that has yet to be explained or eliminated. The Tourist will appear in many types. We will concentrate on only two. First, we will look at the White Ankled Tourist. As the name suggests, this Tourist is recognizable on the white colouring of his ankles and lower legs. As a rule, this Tourist is a fairly peaceful creature. Unlike his close relative, the White Ankled Complainer. This particular Tourist has many strange traits, one of which is –unlike the other Tourist- to not be interested in WHY cars are stopping, but HOW the cars are stopping. He will pass by a herd of parked cars complaining without stop about “how completely brainless it is that everyone has to stop in the middle of the road.. How difficult can it be to leave a little path in between to let oncoming cars past? How ignorant of these people, they obviously have had no social training what so ever, what are they thinking, just look at them” Until a very snotty Backpacker (yep, that’s me) will hiss out “Shut UP you honk, there’s a freeking LION right on the side of the flipping road!!” Of course, this will have the Complainer slam on the brakes, screech to a stop (on the middle of the road) block everyone’s view and call out on the top of his voice to the passengers at the back “Beware beware, there’s a LION, get your cameras, look look, no, not the one with the long nose, this is the one with all the hair around its head.. Yes, the one that looks like a fluffy cat.. yes I know it does not have any hair, it’s a female.. yes, it still is a lion, even without all the hair..NO DON’T GET OUT OF THE CAR” and so on and so on
The next Tourist we will learn about is the Long Eyed Gawk. The Long Eyed Gawk will always travel in a herd and can be found close to a park ranger, a notice board, a tour bus, and a fast food restaurant. As the name once again explains, the most noticeable trait of the Long Eyed Gawk is his one long eye. This eye is a fascinating thing to watch, for it can be extended by a certain length and then again draw back into the scull of the Gawk. Another trait is that he Gawks.. at everything.. Whether it’s an empty water hole, a lone impala, a pride of lion, the end of the world.. he will Gawk..
Of course, the Long Eyed Gawk has a close relative, called the Photographer. The Photographer is a species that is truly admirable, for he has the patience to sit completely motionless for many hours, waiting for wildlife to pass by. The Backpacker likes the company of the Photographer, for he is quiet and unlike the Gawk, truly manages to capture memories with only his one long eye.
Until we meet again, which for some of us will possibly be quite soon,
Xx b&j
